Monthly Archives: July 2008

pass the sour cream, please

I keep hitting the space bar with my clumsy left thumb because it’s held awkwardly immobilized by a brace. It feels like a piece of driftwood attached to my hand.

This is my last week as an intern; I am going to miss being there – even if I worked for free. Could I have used the money by working a temp. summer job? Sure, but work experience wins out and coming up with a thoughtful reaction to the lessons I learned will require a bit of marinating before I serve the meal up to you. Do not fret too much. You will be fed soon.

I am already envious of the next, currently non-existent intern who will occupy my office. Should I leave a hidden anecdote, a short tome of advice, a scribbled note of encouragement for him or her?

There will be rough days. You will want to cry with and for these kids, but you have to persevere. You are strong enough for this line of work, now go call for more referrals. Prepare for another family interview. Gather your materials for the next home visit and don’t forget to bring your smile. I do not have to know you to be proud of you.

RBJ July 2008 Collaboration

Carlos had this wonderful idea for our monthly community collaboration, so I gave it a shot. Here is my brief reaction, each month given a brief afterthought, for the past half-year.

January –

I will call this the spinning top month. My ex and I spent most of winter break together and on January 1st it was decided that we should be an official couple again. He stayed the night, returned to the Midwest, and we proceeded to not really talk for two weeks. I stayed in my dorm hall for three weeks as a winter RA and played pool with international athletes. I felt a certain reluctance to admit that I was taken again and not single, independent – together - I was very much a solid person alone and felt my new routine coming undone. I wanted stability, but he was gone again. I wanted to know that I had made the right decision.

February –

I invested time and energy into my passions – a group-established journal on campus, going out to local places with friends, and allowing myself to get entangled in wonderful conversation. I felt the beginning of something wrong taking hold within me, but could not locate its source.

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the origin of ‘mommy’

I am reading Myths from Mesopotamia as translated by Stephanie Dalley. Although these myths were written over 4,000 years ago, the parallels between them and the Christian Bible are very clear – Creation, the Great Flood, the Epic of Gilgamesh and so on (Wow, I’ve been posting rather religious entries lately). One can see the succession of these evolve into the more mythological beginnings of the Old Testament and I am sure that scholars have studied them with great seriousness and purpose for many years. However, this post was not supposed to result in a discussion about the similarities, differences, or continuation of these myths from civilization to civilization over a couple millennia.

Il mio ragazzo ed io had a conversation about the following excerpt – please pay close attention to the last highlighted portion.

**Mami is is the Sumerian deity/goddess who helped to create human beings from clay. She is also referred to as Aruru, Ninmah, Ninhursaga, Belet – ili, and Nintu. The paragraphs below depict the proper rites to perform and respectful homage one must pay to Mami after childbirth. It also establishes how the pregnancy term was set and why we use ‘mommy’ in reference to our mother, at least from our wishful and loose interpretation of the text.

Mami to mommy, capisce? Well, I thought it was a humorous homophone and I’m glad that it was pointed out to me. I love studying etymology. Merriam-Webster offers this history of the word ‘mother’ -

Etymology:
Middle English moder, from Old English mōdor; akin to Old High German muoter mother, Latin mater, Greek mētēr, Sanskrit māt

Since most of our words are derived from foreign languages, I still say the possibility that we took ‘mommy’ from a Sumerian deity’s name is plausible (it would be pretty cool if that were true, right?!) – it’s not an unsubstantiated argument. If that didn’t convince you, consider that ‘mami’ in Spanish is translated to ‘mommy’ in English and where do you think the Spaniards took that word from – the Sumerians, of course!

Time for sleep before I scare all of you away…

publicity

I will be honest – sometimes having a public blog freaks me out.

I think it’s because I am a private person and the thought of strangers reading my words and paying attention to me is startling.

I also think it’s because I feel slightly secretive every once in awhile. It’s something that I keep from the majority of those who know me offline – my family, friends, and beloved significant other…so why should I let any of you into my mind? I tried the whole sharing thing and it led to more stress than necessary. This is something that I do for my personal benefit and interest, but I still have to remind myself that there is a viewing audience to everything that I write here. The thought of that can leave me very insecure.

Some of you might have been locked out for a couple of hours today. Your browser was not messing up and neither was WordPress. You see, I blocked everyone out and tried the privatized blog for a little while – y’know, took it for a spin before signing and having the metaphorical salesman reaching for my wallet and his next commission.

I might do it again and even with slightly reluctant feelings combating my craving for privacy, it could end up as a more permanent setting rather than a temporary hiatus.

chiropractor outcomes

So my spondylolisthesis and previous herniated disc made me vulnerable and that’s why I have a back spasm now, you say?
Great. Take into account my prior lung damage – I’m 21 years old and officially falling apart.

I hope they’re using Google.com

more fun phrases that were used to find my blog :)

6.23.2008 to Today -

Dark Knight Spoilers: 6 – sorry to disappoint the people who were too lazy to see the movie or wanted to appear up on their recent films during conversations – I only offered the melting face incident that I haven’t even seen yet.

Sandra Imperatore: 2 – She left a lovely comment on a post once.

roast bad handwriting: 2 - I can’t figure out if people were trying to figure out how to improve, worsen, or entirely cook their penmanship.

“dreary existentialists”: 1 – This term made me re-read my essay about Kierkegaard and Camus. It made me want to re-read their works as well.

Robert Pattinson motto: 1 – I dislike the idea of mottos – one phrase that is supposed to encompass someone’s life philosophy? Impossible. I’m not really into celebrity mottos either, but I suppose someone could be inspired by a famous actor’s oh-so-wise advice for success, no offense to the talented actor about to play Edward Cullen.

How to be a worst writer?: 1 – Not to be mean, but I think this person has that down pretty well. He or she was obviously using search term speech, but I suppose correcting this question would only drive them away from meeting his or her goal.

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from The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis

One of the many passages that held interest for me -

‘Then those people are right who say that Heaven and Hell are only states of mind?’

‘Hush,’ he said sternly. ‘Do not blaspheme. Hell is a state of mind – ye never said a truer word. And every state of mind, left to itself, every shutting up of the creature within the dungeon of its own mind- is, in the end, Hell. But Heaven is not a state of mind. Heaven is reality itself. All that is fully real is Heavenly. For all that can be shaken will be shaken and only the unshakable remains.’

‘But there is a real choice after death? My Roman Catholic friends would be surprised, for to them souls in Purgatory are already saved. And my Protestant friends would like it no better, for they’d say that the tree lies as it falls.’

‘They’re both right, maybe. do not fash yourself with such questions. Ye cannot fully understand the relations of choice and Time till you are beyond both. And ye were not brought here to study such curiosities. What concerns you is the nature of the choice itself: and that ye can watch them making.’

A state of mind does become one’s imprisonment or one’s paradise. I am one of the only ‘believers’ left in my school’s philosophy major – I am surrounded by a sea of atheistic and agnostic existentialists who forget that even Nietzsche laments the lack of a need for God, and overlooks the necessity of faith or admittance of the unknown for any major thinker. Arguments can be built and doctrines can be followed, but what really exists beyond all of our conjecture is not perceptible or fully understandable to us – it never will be and I do not think that its inability to be discerned was ever an accident, given the assumption that an underlying purpose does exist.

I am satisfied in what C.S. Lewis said through his Scottish Ghost character – I am satisfied with watching others make the choice and perhaps that interest is what draws me into psychology. I like to fiddle with statistical relevance every now and then – I like to see numerical trends, but a bit of the mystery is still there, a few spaces left for margins of error, for bits of the uncertain and present anomolies that defy the results. I am interested in human fallacy, ultimately, and its effects on the individual and group, the universe.

I am left to wonder, then – Do we have the power to impact the universe or does the universe hold the greatest authority (with whatever else controlling it) and impact us?

to my best friend,

I will hold you in my hands. You will not fall.

*DARK KNIGHT SPOILER*

My boyfriend and I have this running joke that I would look funny if my face melted. Let me correct that – if my face was malleable enough to melt, then resume its normal appearance. He always mushes my face this way and that if he can catch me off guard.

He went with his brother on the premiere showing to see the Dark Knight.

My dear significant other only had this to say about it-

“We are seeing that movie again! Someone’s face melts in it!”

Another running joke or idiosyncrasy is that whenever I drink from a water bottle, I hold it upright in between my teeth and control the water flow slowly, so I appear to be a human water dispenser. Naturally, I never share the water with anyone as a normal dispenser would be able to do since I drink it. I was performing this feat of wonder a few days ago and noticed him watching me intently. I know him so well, that I automatically assumed he was resisting the urge to hold the water bottle there and watch me chug the entire thing. His darkened expression lifted and he laughed slightly to himself and resumed reading his book.

I stopped and said, “I know what you wanted to do.”

He pretended like he had no idea what I was talking about, but I continued, “You wanted to force me to drink the entirety of that bottle and you laughed because you imagined how I would look while doing so.”

He burst out into laughter and hugged me tightly, exclaiming “You know me too well!”

I could only respond, “Thanks for resisting your horrible urge” as his embarrassed squeeze pushed the air out of my lungs.

new look – do you like it?

Here is part of a conversation I had this evening with my boyfriend-

“You’re like a college student written for television. It’s as though someone had to write the character of a college student and you’re that character. Look at you, sitting there with your college logo messenger bag, laptop, bottled water and GRE book…”

I stopped, looked up at him, looked around at myself and had to laugh. He was right.

Me: Yeah, and I have a book of collected short stories by Dostoevsky here too.

“You also attend a college in the nearest city outside of your suburban hometown!”

Me: I’m also wearing a college spirit t-shirt today.