Monthly Archives: November 2008

sleepless

yesterday:

journal publication editing – 12 pm – 4 pm

homework + coffee cake baking – 4:30 pm – 8:00 pm

library 8:10 pm – 8:50 pm

meeting to pick out nominations for a particular honor society I am in – 9 pm – 10:30 pm

homework collaboration materials – 10:45 pm – 4:30 am

tossing and turning from loud noises outside and water rushing through protesting pipes – 4:32 am – 6:40 am

shower – 6:45 am – 7:15 am

three consecutive classes 8 am – 11 am

skipping last class (optional attendance) – 10 – 11 am (see: nap)

preparation for presentation – 11:05 am – 12:00 pm

presentation – 12:05 pm – 1:25 pm

complete shift in fundraiser – 1:27 pm – 1:58 pm

peer tutoring shift – 2 pm – 4 pm

magazine publication executive board meeting – 4:02 pm – 5 pm

glorious sleep (who cares about dinner!) – 5:10 pm – 8 am, Tuesday morning

I AM ZOMBIE. *growling and gurgling noises of the modified dead*

give me soil

hand me a fragile seed with exponential possibilities

for growth and seasonal yield.

I am tired of being in this four walled box.

My ceiling is accosted with creeping shadows

that simmer and unfurl as evening settles in.

Weary eyes, rest.

The cocoon will break open

Soon enough.

Much too soon.

These mundane tasks are

irrelevant to the universe,

an overall schematic screen.

Lungs, intake breath.

Wings. Wet. Stretch.

Small pixellated details

better left out.

Now, in.

Hail falls.

This is a removed existence,

a shadow of a life,

testing a ledge

aligning with the sun.

This windowless room

lacks imagination

and sears with

manufactured heat.

these feelings stem from…

I might feel overwhelmed and downtrodden due to hormones, or worse yet, a general feeling of inadequacy.

Tonight was busy. Filled with a lot of meetings and a lot of e-mails. So much miscommunication and accusatory remarks flittered through the air, enveloped in the aroma of fresh, hot pizza that the combined odor of poison with what would ordinarily be good nauseated me.

I have to get this essay done. There aren’t any excuses left to use and blunder my way through. I have to read through these research articles and choose the couple that makes the most sense, that fills out my topic enough. And, I most certainly have to meet the dozen other deadlines creeping up along my bare legs like a ravenous tick recently born in spring.

I almost wish this semester was over already, but then I would be a graduate. Graduating without a definitive plan for next semester is a constant plague of worry on my mind. I hope my recommendation letters come in soon so that my applications can be sent out.

Remember, remember

Happy Guy Fawke’s Day.

I already blew away NaBloPoMo with my lack of posts early on in the week, but today is a gratuitous view into the mindset of a Moderate. I might have slightly blue political leanings, but generally, I gave this election a fair shot. Given all of the talks, the pros and cons, and multiple perspectives on the matter, I won’t delve into the specifics of why I voted the way I did. People have already analyzed his campaign from every angle.

I will say this though – I am more than happy that Barack Obama is the President-Elect. Many countries in the world are too.

The prevalence of racism, misogyny, and ageism are obvious within American culture. It bothers me to no end, but perhaps my upbringing did not prepare me for a nation rife with these concerns. I never understood why biological attributes and developmental stages have anything to do with the ability of running a nation. Maybe I’m ignorant. Maybe I’m enlightened. Maybe my natural inclinations for equality do not match many others’.

Hopefully, people will not instill a heroic or savior view of Obama. He is an intelligent man. Articulate, and well-educated. He is balanced and I trust him with this nation, and his administration without much hesitation. I merely hope that his leadership will not make sole followers of Americans – true change lies in the collective actions of all, not in the few, and not in idly allowing one, or a handful of individuals to take charge.

While this post may be short, and not at all detailed, just know that I feel grateful to live during this period in history. And I also extend my condolences to McCain supporters who were so fervent and steadfast in their rallying for the Republican candidate. Allow this vague sense of ‘change’ to overtake you a bit. Although we deal in abstractions, see that we are all Americans, and more than that – humans, at the end of each day.

The wind is shifting toward us and gathering in strength when we have needed its relief from the high noon sun…are you going to pretend you cannot feel it across your face?

nanowrimo and food

the perfect combination.

So, it’s that time of year again – NANOWRIMO!!!!! – National November Writing Month. And I’m bent on completing it this year. I just have about ten other projects to complete in the meantime, but I think that sufficient motivation will come from the freshly baked peanut butter macaroons resting on the counter, and the pear pie that sits in the oven, nearly done and delectable.

Less than two months to go until graduation. Is one’s potential infinite, or is there some cut-off? Will there be a stream of banners and confetti on that day, or will my body pull itself into a curled position, nestled in the safety of some comforter with all the lights off in midday?