As posted on PostSecret on January 10, 2010
Mother always assaulted my childhood with an earnest, ongoing plea, not only in words, but actions. Her ultimate lesson was akin to, “Complete your education. Follow your dreams. Pursue a solid career. Never, ever depend on a man to provide for your needs – I won’t have you dependent on anyone else but yourself.”
So, always being quite studious, that particular lecture was not left unheard. I listened and learned it well. Education? Nearly done. A wall of honors. Whispers of such potential swarming around me by respected professionals, urging me to go even further than my intended aspirations. Check. Solid career? Well, not off to a shabby start. Currently climbing the ladder and determined to keep on rising. Excellent evaluations, thus far, though feeling rather personal insecurity in my age. Check. Self-sufficient in financial matters? Oh, a definite check.
Isn’t this what all of the Rosie Riveters worked toward? Isn’t this what all of the Susan B. Anthony’s yearned for, fought for? Women Rights. The right to divorce and to choose a spouse without being treated like chattel. The right to work. The right to ownership of property and voting. An equal say and still battling a slightly imbalanced pay rate. The ability to take maternity leave without risk of peril to one’s job position. The ability to be valued for one’s mind and obtain a first-class education and actively put such degrees to use.
Still, the notion of choosing to halt all of those options and stay at home is tempting. Exhilarating, but seemingly against societal norms. The thought of my children, offspring who do not even exist, who may never be born even, being sent off to the care of others while I work, is worse than any dull, rusty blade digging into my belly.Yet, so is the disdain or disbelief others would express at me giving up my aforementioned potential for future success. A dual-income is almost a necessity, with the standard of living expected these days, with achieving a lifestyle I would wish and hope for any kids I might bear and raise. With college costs on the rise. A mortgage. Car payments. Groceries. Basic necessities for minimal comforts. Personal toiletries and such. It’s impossible.
I will not give up who I love in pursuance of money. And we will never be rich. Our career plans do not foresee much fortune. But, they do promise a boon of contentment and satisfaction.
Maybe it can be done.
