My planner is impossible to write on – there’s no space left on the calendar. The days, nights, weekends…every moment is accounted for with something to do. I prepare the next tasks in the few spare minutes in between.
“It won’t always be like this,” I tell myself, controlling the choking cloud looming overhead. Distant thunder grumbles in the distance, but it’s way off, beaten back by my positive determination and a little self-indulgence in pumpkin ice cream.
“You don’t have kids; think of all your classmates who have children and get by,” I rebuke myself, rolling up my sleeves. Spreading paperwork around me. Trapping myself within a tightly packed circle. Well, the truth is those few friends who settled down gradually left the program and I haven’t heard from or seen them in a while. But I conveniently forget this tidbit during my pep talk.
This past weekend was a horribly wonderful distraction. Horrible, I fell behind in work. Wonderful, because I miss my loved ones with a fierceness I haven’t felt since the first few weeks I roughed it out in the great big world, and it was ridiculous to think I could stay away for five months straight.
I ended up on the floor of a friend’s house, this time in a semi-circle of work, surrounded by huskies. My best girl friend served as an assistant, reading off words and numbers as I entered data on a laptop. Furry dog tails swished some of the paper around. Wet noses bumped at whatever skin my knee-length boots didn’t cover. It was so good to see her. It’s been too long.
The next couple of months may try me, but I’m recharged and Thanksgiving will serve as the boost to last until the winter holiday break. What energizes you?
