Category Archives: Dreams

One Little Pill

Read my latest post about growing up with SNES on girlhack.com

Unevenly laid bricks covered the ground, but we spread out our sleeping bags anyway. The sun hung low on the horizon and darkness crept slowly across the sky. Uncomfortable, I rested on my back, staring into the canopy of several overhanging pine trees. Shadows moved.

“What are those?!” my friend whispered frantically, pointing at the shapes. We turned flashlights hesitantly on the forms and gasped.

Fruit bats filled the trees and stared down at us inquisitively. They covered every branch. There were at least two hundred of them.

“Our camp-out is over,” I whispered back fiercely, “Crawl slowly toward the door, but do not stand up and startle them.” She did. I followed. We slipped inside quickly, shutting the screen door behind us and watching outside. 

“Now our sleeping bags will get covered in guano!” she protested, hand poised near the door knob, but I slapped it away. 

“Too bad.”

Larger creatures appeared from behind the garage. We stopped bickering and watched. Two large wolves and a panda paced around the backyard. Two large wolves. And a panda.

“Let’s adopt a pet,” my mother and father stated at the same time before I could protest against the confusing scene. They pushed us aside in their haste and opened the door.

One of the wolves forced his way inside the door frame, his hulking size nearly pushing the hinges loose. Someone reached out and grabbed him around the scruff of his neck, but he shook his head free and padded his way through the hall. He stopped and pivoted back toward us, growling.

I cursed.

“You always wanted a dog,” someone cooed, walking toward the wolf with a smile on their face.

“That is not a domesticated dog! That is a wolf! We need to call animal control and move somewhere safe,” I hissed back, angrily.

The wolf narrowed its eyes and displayed his teeth, the fur bristling along his back. I did not blame him. I could not believe this was happening.

His eyes morphed into a comical drawing, roughly drawn and black scribbles for eyebrows. Then, he charged. The wolf chased us into a stairwell, where he ran behind us, canines clipping near our necks and flailing limbs. He was too fast. We were too clumsy.

Wolf attacks are nearly nonexistent, but this is not an average situation, I thought. I like wolves, too. This sucks.

“No, Ma!” I yelled.

“Rachel, I am not your mother. Wake up!” my boyfriend said, shaking me slightly.

“No, wolves are not pets!” I continued, raising my voice in desperation.

“Rachel, wake up,” he persisted, laughing.

I sat up in bed and looked around.

“I heard you thrashing around in here. You fell asleep,” he explained.

Once the disorientation passed, I vowed, “I am never taking Benadryl again.”

Advice Beyond the Barriers of Death

I envision her sitting on a wooden fold-out chair on our old front porch. The weather is warm and the setting sun hides behind a few errant clouds. Condensation builds on the iced tea pitcher beside us, creating a puddle on the brick stairs and beneath tall, empty glasses.

My grandmother wears a long sun-kissed tomato dress. Her hair is curly and auburn brown. More importantly, her hair is real. I rest my hand on top of hers and gasp in astonishment. Her hands are smooth and soft, not cracked and papery from chemotherapy.

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sandworm ring

sandworm_b

Color illustration created by: Andrew Navaro

I dreamt, rolling in and out of consciousness, within the 5-minute span between hitting snooze on my annoyingly programmed cellphone (set in alignment with alleged responsibilities). Instead of its screen merely having the option of hitting ‘snooze’ or ‘dismiss,’ the display read ‘burst out’ or ‘dismiss’. The image of a sandworm bursting out of the sand, or in this case, the floorboards and through the futon, emerged past my line of vision. I fully awoke, startled, and said out loud, “No, don’t burst! I won’t hit burst! I’m up!”

My roommate turned to me, clothing iron poised over a rather stubborn shirt collar and calmly asked, “What’s bursting?”

vampiric growth

The door was removed from its hinges once a week, for over a month. It was a thick metal door, painted white, and had suffered multiple bruises and dents near the top. Unnerving. Taunting.

The scene shifted, and I was in a rectangular room, large and open, also painted white. There were peers there, classmates, mostly female, all pale and earnest. They were staring at me warmly. Everything was blinding and light.

“It’s time you have joined the coven,” one stated simply. Another patted the open space next to her on a white leather sofa.

“I’m not sure about this,” I replied nervously, “Do I want to be involved with people who keep breaking down my apartment door?”

They said nothing. They stared.

“I don’t like your recruitment tactics,” I glared at them.

“Don’t be silly,” she implored delicately, “You’re one of us now. We take classes together too. There’s no denying that you belong with us either.”

One of my friends wore a khaki-toned trenchcoat. He sat back, long hair in his usual uncombed ponytail, fragrant plumes of smoke drifting out of his pipe.

“What are you doing here, A?!” I gasped.

“Nah, don’t get all bothered. I just talk with these people. You know I’m off-beat, not undead.”

I nodded in agreement at the only comic relief my brain offered to me, and stirred myself out of an already restless slumber.

“Growing up sucks,” I muttered at my impatient alarm clock. I didn’t bother to hit snooze. It was nearly time to leave for work.

Feb. 29, 2009

This post was inspired by Plinky – since we’re not within a leap year, and February officially ended yesterday, let’s consider what one would do if there was a hypothetical 2/29/09.

There are endless possibilities, ranging from the mundane, the plausible, to the fantastic.

Realistic scenario – Sleep-in, wake up, bubble up a cup of hot chocolate, and read/write leisurely. Maybe skip out to see a movie, or visit a museum – rock out at a show somewhere.

Unrealistic, yet wonderful scenario – Conjure a passport out of nowhere, empty out my savings and fly to Italy – visit Florence – and have all of March 1st left to get back and try to recooperate from the differing time zone. Maybe visit Alaska instead, buy a cabin and a few husky dogs. Set up shop there, and live out  Jack London arctic tundra or Julie of the Wolves childhood dreams.

So, there are my proposed adventures – now, what would you do?

the hyphen

It was past 1:30 in the morning. The city lights filtered in beyond the gaps between the blinds, shedding a nearly translucent glow on his sleeping form. He twitched in his sleep and reflexively moved his arm to better accommodate his shifting weight. Then, he laughed.

I turned over on to my other side to watch him. What was that? What did he say?

He was smiling at me, eyes open, though to be sure, still asleep. He winked mischievously and again, gave a low musical and mirthful laugh.

“What?” I questioned, stunned by his out of character greeting.

“I had a dream that Jackie Chan was starring in a new movie.”

“Oh,” I responded, the single syllable leaving my lips all too familiarly as a form of reply to his words.

“Guess what the name of the movie was!” he said excitedly. At least he was truly awake now.

“I don’t know. What was it?” I encouraged him.

“The Goat-Climbing Mountain! HAHAHAHA!!!!”

I stared at him to elaborate.

“People don’t get the hyphen! Hahahaha!!! A goat-climbing mountain!”

I stared at him some more.

“And then the mountain climbed the goat, and the goat disappeared, of course – because the mountain was on top of it!”

“You’re crazy,” I giggled more audibly, swatting at him.

He laughed himself back to sleep.

claw game horror

I am a champion of the claw game. My aim is impeccable. Friends give me their quarters in hopes that I can win them the objects of their desire. I have had years of practice – two weeks per summer of my childhood was spent on the boardwalk, playing queen and leaving victorious. I stayed on a budget. I didn’t need to try ten times for a stuffed animal worth maybe two dollars. I really was that good. I’m not ashamed to boast. I shock myself.

So, yesterday was my friend’s 21st birthday. I had spent a good portion of the morning and afternoon in a testing center, taking the GRE. Yes, I wore those hideous orange ear muffs they provided to block out the sound of others and my typing. It worked wonders. The raw verbal and quantitative scores were a combined 1150 without the essays, but I am still not sure whether this is a decent enough score for graduate schools or not. In truth, I don’t want to see another standardized test until it’s time for my state and national certification exams. My other friend took the test alongside me and afterward, we started our drive to the beach where our birthday girl wanted us to meet her. Traffic was heavy – license plates were from all over – and it took us almost four painful hours to reach our destination.

I won a lemur stuffed animal. First try. I stayed rusty the rest of the night. I would pick up something in the claw, and the rigging would be tricky – a spring at the top meant to swing one’s prize to and fro in a heartbreaking flurry until it fell, the traditional loose claw method that dropped prizes after strategically being unable to support their weight, and lastly, the awkward sizing of the claws themselves that were ill-fitted for the prizes being offered.

There was a huge Deal or No Deal claw game – the mama or monster of all claws dangled threateningly over large silver briefcases containing vouchers for xbox360 and wii consoles. It was $5.00 for three tries. I did not even hesitate before spending it.

The first two attempts were used to plan my mode of attack. How was the grip on the claw? What was the best angle or part of the briefcase to grab? One had to take the claws that spun – each extension had to land at exactly the right place on the object. I made my final move with a crowd of hopefuls watching as the claw descended, grabbed perfectly and neatly around the briefcase and began to ascend in the air. It raised. It raised higher. It moved, and still, the briefcase held its lofty position. The arcade lights bounced off the metal and illuminated the entire scene in all its glory. Nobody around me was breathing, but neither was I. Our eyes were fixed steadfastly on the prize. It moved closer to the winning area…closer…then dropped. An audible groan resounded around me. A stranger patted me on the back consolingly. It was so close. I felt my stomach drop with the briefcase as it landed with a THUD.

My fingers caressed another Lincoln in my pocket, but held it still. I would not spend $10.00 on fruitless dreams. A man who had been watching the entire time shook his head at me sadly. I left, and with his son in tow, he put $5.00 in the game.

I almost won an iPhone in a similar manner too. Gah.

dead betta

Did I kill his pet fish? I was dreaming the other night and there it was, swimming in one of those small carnival-sized bowls with slightly grungy water. Caesar, so named because he goes into convulsions / seizures like the Roman dictator supposedly did, was not in his larger bowl with the luxurious fake plant and translucent blue, flat marbles. My dead betta, Xavier, was there too, in an equally filthy bowl, although in life he had enjoyed a similar set-up in a gallon tank with red marbles and matching decor.

I remember muttering, “Ugh, if the water isn’t changed soon, these fish are going to die.” His fish was over three years old, but I still feel somehow responsible. I’m aware that my guilt is nonsense, but it’s still there.

Starry, starry night.

I went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art this past Sunday. I was there for an art paper originally, but found myself wandering the impressionism and post-impressionism periods of the nineteenth century. It was incredible -Gauguin, Cézanne, Seurat, Manet, Monet, Braque, and Vuillard were all there, but Van Gogh was really the star in my sky.

They had a separate exhibition going on, and Starry Night over the Rhone made me come to an immediate stop. Someone almost bumped into me, and my boyfriend wanted to know what was going on, and why this was so special, but it drew me in, hugged me, and hasn’t let me go since.

The television must have been showing E! News, because I had a dream that Hilary Duff and Justin Timberlake were interested in one another. I was hiding them on campus from screaming women who were calling Ms. Duff a skank. It was a really dull and disappointing dream. All the while, Don McLean’s “Vincent” played in the background, which is ironically whose television was influencing my dream – my boyfriend’s roommate is named Vincent, but he does not bear Van Gogh’s last name.

what a dream {genocideandAIDs}

I had a really dumb dream. A dream that we were being collected in a mass genocide by some random invading country. My family was with me, and so was my boyfriend. We were scrambling after the enemy was stopping cars on the highway. I had managed to hide my things when we were collected at our house. My boyfriend always turns into a terrible person in my dreams. In this one, he admits to having AIDS and worse, he has given it to me. When I scream and punch at him in a confused fury he says, “Well – I wasn’t going to tell you the truth. I mean, you were only a freshman,” which doesn’t make sense because

1) he wouldn’t ever cheat on me

2) I was a junior in high school when we started dating

3) we’re waiting to be intimate

The last thing I remember is running through woods, my father and sister struggling to keep up. I’m dodging the trees and sliding down muddy enbankments, following a single grey wolf. He was leading the way.

and now, my dear readers, I am late for Statistics. I have a test, so hopefully I’ll survive to write when I return.