Category Archives: Introspection

after a toast to the couple, originally uploaded by chispeak.

“Now that you have learned about the great responsibility and faithfulness embedded in the creation of marriage, are you ready to proceed with your vows?”

It seems that the commonplace of separation and divorce among the married have changed how the actual wedding ceremonies are carried out. I have been to two weddings recently, and they differ sharply from those I attended several years ago.

First, neither was held in a church or building with any religious affiliation.

Secondly, the priest, interfaith clergy, or designated minister had heightened the sense of importance and commitment that one agrees to when tying the knot. They seem to take an invested interest in counseling the couple prior to and during the ceremony to reassure their conscience that all preventative measures were taken to help support the couple’s future success.

The minister reviewed the idea of passionate love, of love that overtakes one’s sensibilities, but needs to be controlled within the present covenant they were binding themselves to – that marriage necessitates and justifies the sacrifice of desires and wants in favor of what would reasonably benefit the other, the beloved.

The downfall of marriage has caused many to view the act as being nothing more than a minor traditional ceremony that can be canceled at whim, while others proclaim their joining as being all the more special and serious, given the social circumstances and underlying lasting expectations for their relationship. It has become more acceptable and common for couples to live together before engagement, before setting a wedding date or choosing a photographer. I always learned that the statistics associated with such couples is not favorable. However, confounding variables play a large role that is often overlooked by mass media reports. The intentions of the couple prior to living together (those who most likely do not wish to get married anyway), and the lack of change experienced after moving in together (often more closely bonding newlyweds who did not cohabit prior to marriage) are better indicators of future divorce or separation rather than the mere fact of living together before being wed alone.

I am not afraid of these uncertainties. Every relationship takes hard work to maintain and improve. Being familiar with statistics and research methods, I am able to scrutinize the scare tactics and figures. One cannot judge how loving individuals meet – their lives are not mine to examine, but I can certainly support the hopes for my significant other and me.

One action, for instance, is quelling my boyfriend’s curiosity at this post (his hand is featured in the photograph above), and letting him read its content. You know, we’re building trust and all.