It’s been a long time since I blogged a post (see: recent graduation, my laptop still being held in repair somewhere in Texas, a full schedule of distractions, and my unstated thorough apology).
A countless string of choices occurs over the duration of a year; many are not openly recognized, while others are calculated and planned in advance. Yet, the entirety of one’s conscious and unconscious actions, along with a multitude of exterior factors create the state and quality of one in the present moment – you are a culmination of nature and nurture.
Self-disclosure is something that I tend to avoid and really, no body wants to hear someone complain about the difficulties in their life constantly. I hope for this to be a site that portrays a neutrality, or at the least, a site that depicts difficult scenarios that are overcome with rationality and a touch of realism.
Yes, I graduated from a graduate program recently. Yes, I am still attending courses although I am not pursuing a doctorate (at this time). There is a lure and a drawback to academia – it is simultaneously synonymous with opportunity and restriction. I’m one of the nerds that actually likes lectures and application and intellectual discourse. There was a commencement speaker who graciously thanked the graduates’ parents and families for providing their support; this topic is one of suppression, pride, bitterness, and exaltation for me. Although I was essentially moved from my childhood home without consultation, I am comforted by my self-sufficiency and ability to still hold a loving relationship with those who unwittingly removed me. Although I was encouraged and expected to attend college, I was also mocked and degraded for doing so by the very same sources.
I cannot speak for everyone – some situations are much more dismal than my own. Although I had been neglected in various ways, I still cannot comprehend the abandonment endured by another close to me. However, although I would like to move to a different location or perhaps attend a prestigious graduate program, I cannot afford either idea at this time. Situations are made complicated when actions are not grounded with foresight and determined solely by hope and a few tenuous lines of support. Now, all I can do is suggest and listen, help an individual determine their path toward a viable solution. Unfortunately, holding a determined stance onto past occurrences and therein, constantly falling victim to oneself and one’s obstacles often have a way of making a person deaf to possibility.
An education can provide skills, training, and expectations. It cannot, however, change a person. The change must be stirred within; I can only work toward being a catalyst.
