a complete lack of motivation that i write this at this indecent hour (3:18 am), but frustration. I have been awake for far too long, the evidence being that my head is beginning to hurt. I consider that to be a rather vital piece of evidence that I should take care of myself and sleep. The paper is not going to be finished tonight.
Kierkegaard and Camus can be such dreary existentialists to write about. Here are two philosophers, one who attempted to transcend the mundane activities of a mortal world into the promises of eternal heaven with a warped view of Christianity, and another who merely comments on the absurdity of living. Camus comments that life is not about trying to understand existence, but to accept it. He says that the big question is not about the meaning behind living, but to ask oneself whether life is really worth living or not. It’s rather dreary and dreadful. One considers himself to look like a kangaroo. The other goes on for ages about suicide and somehow interprets the myth of Sisyphus into a happy event. The birds are chirping. Existentialists are whiny enough. I’m not about to complain any longer.
I think it’s time to sleep on it tonight. Maybe I’ll talk about French politics next time, but I promise…it won’t be an essay by any stretch of the imagination. I have to read up on French government first, and that may take awhile, though most of my packing is already accounted for. If someone wants to write my Aristotle essay on psychological temperance and the “death by broken heart” phenomena as a result of emotional excesses (i.e. loneliness, grief etc.) then be my guest.
On Mother’s Day: Happy belated Mother’s Day to any moms who may be reading this blog. I regret that I was unable to see my mother for this annual occasion, but she was able to visit this past Saturday. My family and I had a decent time (minus the minor counts of bickering). We ate lunch at a local diner, played table tennis, and they helped move some of my packed belongings back home. The walls look bare, but clean. With every end, a fresh start awaits. I wonder what will be in store for me this summer. My boss has to call back first to reassure me that I still have my waitressing summer job (the tips there are excellent on busy days for such a small place).
P.S. I was interviewed for several RA positions that have recently become available. This was several weeks ago. I’ll let you know if anything exciting happens. I have also begun messing around with Windows Movie Maker 2, although it has also become an annoyance to contend with. I am thinking about purchasing a Mac after the new operating system comes out, but my funds are low and as my responsible boyfriend keeps reminding me, I will have a heap of loans to pay off in another two years (I am currently about $25,000 in debt without interest) along with procuring a car (my sister totaled our shared one), but that is the price one pays for an undergraduate degree these days. I would not trade my experiences at this college though. It was a wise choice to matriculate here.
