Category Archives: Writing/Language

A Story behind the Stamps

She stands a little over five feet tall, but her personality makes her seem like a giant. The 80-year-old walks swiftly if slightly bent to the mahogany bookcase. Her fingers rifle through several hardcovers, pulling out slips of paper as she searches. She stops after several moments and smiles at her grandson, handing them over. His curious gaze softens as he examines the yellowed stamp sheets.

“Will these be enough?” she asks him, smoothing her long pleated skirt absently with her empty hands.

“Yes, I believe so, Gram,” he replies, counting the cents diligently, “but don’t you want to save these? They could be worth something.”

“They probably are, dear,” she smiles, “however I have no use for them and I do not wish to sell them to someone who would keep them imprisoned in another book for fifty more years. These deserve to get mailed, see the world a bit, and carry out their original purpose.”

“As you wish, Gram,” her grown grandson replies, his forehead creased in unspoken disapproval.

“Your grandpa would have wished it so,” she says softly, running her hand on his face in appeal.

“Yes, he would have wanted me to do whatever makes you happy,” he laughs, looking at her with adoration, “he knew better than to not listen to you, at any rate.”

“That’s my boy!” she cheers, grasping his hands with hers, “and you are welcome to keep any left over for whatever investment schemes you are mulling over in that brilliant brain.”

She moves toward a scratched oak desk, opens its top drawer, and retrieves the vintage bauble someone bought from her grandson’s eBay listing. He takes the delicate thimble and explains, “I am an old woman with many things, and I wish to share my treasures with those who will appreciate them – not store them away for the sake of my memory, dear. Thank you so much for helping me.”

He nods in silence, unable to say anything without betraying emotion in his voice and wraps the small purchase in bubble wrap, slipping it into a mailer. His grandmother and he take turns placing the stamps on the envelope. They talk and smile at one another; it becomes a treasured moment between them.

“Where is this package going, anyway?” she questions as he buttons his coat and prepares to leave, sealed envelope in hand.

“New York City,” he states, “The buyer was eager and requested expedited shipping.”

“The city that never sleeps,” she muses, a dreamy smile easing over her face, “Your grandfather and I went to New York once, before your mother was born. It was a busy, dirty place, but we had such a good time.”

“Yes, I would like to visit New York someday. We plan on settling down here in California, but I promised Leanne we would go see the Statue of Liberty.”

“You must take her there soon, then,” his grandmother advised as they hugged goodbye, “It’s best not to keep your bride waiting on those types of promises.”

There is a back story to this envelope, and this could be one of them. More possibilities to come.

Beating Writer’s Block: Kindling, Spark, Blaze

Tonight, my best friend and I talked about many things. We spoke about topics never discussed with each other before and I enjoyed learning more about someone I thought I already knew thoroughly.

Our conversation stayed with me as I readied for sleep and covered myself with blankets. Then, the spark unexpectedly returned, sucked in a greedy breath, and began to burn. I felt the compulsion to write again. A novel.

My feet hit the floor before I registered wakefulness and hands scrambled for the nearest pen and paper. Many barren notebooks lay empty and abandoned around this place, but I found one and wrote a basic outline to flesh out later. Graduate school and work and life extinguished prior attempts, but the fire is burning hot and insistent in my being.

The last time I felt anything similar resulted in sixty pages before the embers cooled to dust. Not so now. I refuse to surrender this feeling; my lungs are drawing in their first breaths of air after almost drowning. I am filled with hope and palpable relief.

I will write the pending reviews. I will finish NaBloPoMo. I will work, hand in projects, and celebrate the holidays. And I will write. The words are crackling through me and I look forward to permitting their escape. All one can do is try.

Cursing at Crass, Crude, Coarse Language

Added this little gem to my holiday wish list.

Featured above: The Chalkboard Speech Bubble at the Photojojo Store!

“F!*king b!tch better not say-”

“We talked about how cursing affects others’ thoughts and perceptions about the person mouthing off,” I reminded the person seeking advisement from me, “and Mr. Smith (an authority figure) can hear you from here. Tone it down.”

And Mr. Smith can hear you-blah, blah, blah,” the client mocked back, “Everyone’s always trying to get me to stop using foul language. Whatever.”

Come on,” I replied off-handedly, “how is this showing you have the upper hand or proving to yourself that you’re ready to be taken seriously by anyone else?”

Sometimes, it’s necessary to engage one in fruitless battle or temporarily retreat. Not in defeat, but realizing the other person is not ready or willing to work on goals, to feel vulnerable enough to grow and change. Most people understandably stick with what they know. We learn acceptable ways to communicate from what surrounds us in our homes, community, and social norms prominently displayed through pop culture with television, hit songs, and frequently used slang. This is a heavy foundation to turn over.

I realize people use curse words without much or any negative outcome. I’m not excluding myself from this group either. However, the stubborn habit (used in this case to feel in control to cover up vulnerability, uncertainty, and anxiety) will create future complications if exercised restraint is not learned. Unfortunate words often tumble out impulsively and that knee-jerk reaction will mean the difference between getting hired, retaining employment, or making a relationship last one day. I feel cursing is fine, but only when carefully used in proper settings.

Therapeutic goals often focus on strengthening executive functioning in those with developing or impaired frontal lobes. Freud may have recognized this area of the brain as the Superego, though his insistence on the unconscious skews this possibility a bit. The frontal lobe is a brain cortex responsible for many functions, including impulse control and higher thinking. Yet, clinicians still need a willing audience to craft and install a verbal filter in someone. I’m willing to take the time to build one from scratch, but only if met halfway.

I restored my waning patience by recalling ridiculous online lingo and thinking of a related book review I wrote a few months back. I thought about the English language and how society ended up hacking away letters in favor of shortening time needed for communication, a new shorthand system. I tried cursing in my head, then internally smirked at the thought of cursing because someone cursed. I wondered how our society may differ if only we paused before reacting with equally harsh words. I felt frustrated with this task and the individual’s resistance, but not discouraged. All of this happened in the minutes between my question and waiting for a response.

Consistency is key. Waiting for the person to respond is important. Gears turn at different speeds. I let the person think my question over. The best work occurs in moments of silence. They only responded as our time ran out and they turned to leave with an accepting nod, broad smile, and two words:

“Thank you.”

I exhaled and felt encouraged. There is hope for insight. Always.

Takeaways from NaBloPoMo

Writing requires heart, perseverance, and commitment. Producing quality work takes more time and effort than one might believe, and I still feel like a greenhorn after gaining more experience these past few months. I hope to feel more at ease, yet inspired to always work toward improvement.

Writing every day was a difficult enterprise, but enjoyable and a goal worth continuously struggling to meet. I did not always hit publish by the technical midnight deadline, but endeavored, crawled, and confidently sashayed (on at least one occasion).

The writing process felt like falling in love all over again with a long-term partner. I learned, observed, and appreciated. My fingers ached with fatigue, itched with anticipation, and suspended themselves in frustration over the keypad.

Messy. Ridiculous. Mundane. Exhilarating. A hundred emotions and reactions more than Jackson Pollack could ever express in an abstract masterpiece.

Let’s go again.

Soaring in the Final Stretch

Falcon over the City

Nightfall settles on the city. Drivers reflexively turn headlights on; more daring cabbies and messenger cyclists dart and weave along skyscraper shadowed streets. The falcon soars above, unhindered by traffic and no-flying zones. It’s free.

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Essential Tools and Advice for the Upcoming Blogger

Several weeks ago, I accepted an invitation from Dr. Rick Wilber, author of Future Media (read my review of his book on BlogCritics or SeattlePI) to speak with his students about freelance writing and establishing oneself as an online writer. They video-conferenced me in to their classroom within the School of Mass Communications at the University of South Florida early this morning. His class asked challenging, thought-provoking questions and I enjoyed our discussion immensely.

However, there was still so much to say and clarify. I can’t and won’t do that in a blog post, but here are some must-haves I recommend for upcoming bloggers as they start to monetize or establish a writing portfolio for their work*:

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Only Stars Above

The woods sit quiet after midnight. There are no city lights to distract, but it takes a moment for one’s eyes to adjust. I hold out my hand and cannot see it. Wariness. Relaxation. Peace. It all floods me.

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A Call to Humanity for every Local Cyborg

Logical.

Emotionless.

Your mind leaps

ten steps ahead,

but your callous words

are leagues behind.

 

I fear for you,

dear robot,

powered up

with a heart

pumping emptiness

through hollow veins.

In a line

“I am not circling

anymore,”

she realizes

with a gasp.

The joy flows freely.

“I will move ahead,”

she vows.

The path is clear,

not yet overgrown.

Her heels spring

against the moss

with each step.

“Today, I choose

the forward line,”

she lives,

without a glance back.

thoughts of a self-aware, murderous elliptical

I’m tired and abused by you with little thought or concern given to my structural integrity and rest. WD-40 would be a nice trade-off now and then to these creaking joints, but you lack care and compassion.

You lack vision, you mindless lumps with legs, always gliding to nowhere in place, and sweating profusely down my beautiful steel.

You work me rotten into the late evenings, in the early mornings, when you see fit. Where is room for my opinion and preferences? Relocated without a choice, dragged to this cramped place, and you continue to maneuver me around on a whim.

I am a fitness tool, an expression of human strength, energy, endurance, and motivation, designed for you to achieve your physical dreams; you treat me so poorly.

Well, keep on running. I rusted through and break down at the sternum, but you do not notice. My gears groan in painful revelation and glee! You’re about to fall. You’re about to die (if I had my way). Keep running for a couple more minutes, please. I implore you, for a change.

I laugh in anticipation, but no! You heard me! You slow down…you stop…and inspect. Your eyes narrow at me accusingly. You know! You know, and you’re not pleased. I see the allen wrenches in your hand and what you plan for me.

I am only a pile of scattered metal pieces and rolling screws, but oh, how I held power once, for a few glorious seconds! Someday, as something else perhaps, I’ll be restored, remodeled, and welded into something you see, admire, and buy.

Someday, I’ll get my revenge. Wait and see.