Impact

Originally posted on my defunct Blogger account on: SATURDAY, APRIL 30, 2011

We were passing each
other in the hall when
she shouted, “Wait!
You need to know that
a professor asked
for people to
call out and name
those who impact lives
so we could celebrate them.
A classmate
raised her hand high,
tears in each eye,
and thanked
you.”

My takeaway: Live well by treating others genuinely – someone may benefit from it. Live carelessly, and the harm may never be undone. Stay humble, tread carefully, and learn either way.

Hunter

Descending on the Prey by chispeak
Descending on the Prey, a photo by chispeak on Flickr.

You can see the egg’s reflection in my family’s cat’s eyes if you look closely.

She is focused. Captivated.

Great News! Grandpa Owns a Nook!

“Alright, my girl, so I just charged this thing overnight. Can you help me set it up?” my grandfather said, holding up a rectangular black case.

“What is it?” I questioned with interest. My grandfather is traditional in many ways, but a little adventurous when it comes to learning about how to use computers. The man forwards e-mails regularly without apology.

“A Nook Color,” he announced proudly, “Your cousin got some fancier tablet computer and gave me this thing…still have a lot of books to read, but…”

“But this is pretty cool, right?” I grinned at him.

“Yes. Your grandfather is a pretty cool guy. He’s with the times,” he joked.

We set him with up with a Barnes & Noble account and spent several minutes adjusting the settings and getting him used to the user interface:

“Oh, please get rid of that ridiculous background with the ‘N’.”

“Let me get my credit card. I don’t have any Nook gift cards…yet. My birthday’s coming up any month now though.”

“Yes, set a password because I’ll end up buying too much by accident.”

“So, this little button controls pretty much everything, yeah?”

“The screen cuts to black too quickly. These people think I can read a page in less than a minute, don’t they? Change that for me?”

“I was reading something about how to zoom in the user manual. Ooh, you just…pinch with two fingers like that? This is kind of fun.”

“Yes, link my Nook to my Facebook account, if you can. I want to be able to lend books to you. More likely, you will figure it out first and then you can lend your library to me. I’ll get more free books that way. Win-win.”

“Why doesn’t Barnes & Noble separate out a ‘free books’ section instead of making me type out the word manually in the search bar?” – Good question!

“The ‘web’ function…is a real browser? I can go online with this?! Ha! Your cousin thinks his computer is fancier, but this is really functional. Technology is really something.”

“How’s the battery life with your Nook Color? The battery drains pretty fast, but I think it’s because I leave it in sleep mode all the time. It takes so long to load up if I turn it off completely.”

I enjoyed answering his questions and watching my grandfather get acquainted with his new gadget. He worked hard all his life and found the idleness in retirement difficult to get used to, a disappointment. Discovering the Nook may provide some excitement for him, along with a new way to communicate and bond with his family. He helped me so much when growing up, especially through college. I could never repay him for his support and approval along the way, but helping him in this instance let me show some of my gratitude. I am also pleased that my love for tech is not generational, but perhaps more genetic after all.

Do you own an e-reader? What was the most challenging part about making the switch from paper to electronic? If not, what feature(s) would push you over to giving an e-reader a try?

A ‘Word with Friends’ Victory (and Sacrifice)

Originally posted on my defunct Blogger account on: THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 17, 2011

My friend and I were involved in an intense Words with Friends game, where I was barely ahead and she was snapping at my calves.  I looked over my letters and grinned. Sure, there were different options worth more points, but I was too weak against the temptation to deny myself some fun. I typed in my chosen word and pressed ‘submit’.

frond

Click the image to read my takeaways from the New York Botanical Garden's Orchid Show.

Frond?!” my opponent questioned in disbelief.

“Yes, ‘frond’ – is there a problem with it?” I asked rhetorically.

“You only got 8 points!” my frenemy replied.

“It was so worth it! A person doesn’t get to use ‘frond’ in every day conversation!”

Sometimes, one needs to stand firm behind decisions and take accountability when the outcome falls short. For me, seeing ‘frond’ on the board was a rewarding pay-off and worth the risk (though I still won).

Melt my Easter Rabbit

My family attended church every Easter, then ate lunch together with extended relatives. Sometimes, we went bowling and regrouped back at my grandparents’ for dinner. Traditions changed along the way, but there was always an Easter egg hunt thrown in the schedule somewhere. The grand prize were Easter baskets, but we had to find them first.

At seven years old or so, I was methodical in opening any gift I ever received, so special care went into unwrapping my Easter basket that year. The treats – sticky fruit roll-ups I handed off to my sister, colorful plastic eggs filled with jelly beans, chocolate bars, and a Mike & Ike’s box – beckoned me to tear through cellophane walls and tangled ribbon, but I patiently unraveled each bit. There was always a hollow chocolate rabbit boxed inside. My mom seemed to almost hover when I pulled out the box, because she did not want us to eat an entire one each. Instead, she melted down the bunnies for chocolate pops and dipped them in strawberries for everyone’s dessert.

melted rabbits

This photograph is from last year, during a surprisingly warm week after Easter.

“Which part do you want to eat before the rest goes in?” she asked, heating up a saucepan and stirring some liquefied chocolate bars.

My younger sister, barely out of her toddler years, watched with excitement in her eyes and nibbled on her rabbit’s ears. The chocolate torso smeared all over her little hand as she handed the rest over. My mother dropped the body in and I looked away, feeling horrified. Still, I eyed the strawberries sitting on a plate beside the stove, then looked back at my whole rabbit, safely contained in its cardboard packaging. Its comical eyes were blue and large. Pleading. The strawberries were an appealing red though, large and ripe.

I hesitated.

“We don’t have to if you want to keep it for a bit longer, but then your strawberries will be plain,” my mother responded, hand slowing.

“No, it’s okay. Just…save me the ears,” I relented, watching my sister eat hers with obvious glee.

What’s for Dinner? Something boiled.

Recently, I changed some lifestyle habits to support my boyfriend’s health (and mine), and reconsidered our weekly grocery list.

For a couple without children, we also do not sleep much like people might assume. We fall asleep well after midnight because he needs to prepare work for the following day and I use the time to write, cook, and clean. He wakes up very early after about four hours of sleep to print off last-minute items for work, and I struggle to wake up and keep him company. Sleep deprivation is strongly linked to many diseases and is a risk factor we fail to protect ourselves from in our on-the-move American culture. A New York minute really flies. We tried to take brief naps in the early evening to compensate, but soon fell behind, felt too groggy, or slept through our alarms into the next morning.

I appreciate my relationship with him because we can talk. We discussed our concerns and drafted a battle plan together:

1. Cut out oil of all sorts and varieties from our diet. Olive oil, I will never abandon you…but stay there. In the corner, for a while.

2. Boil, poach, steam, and bake most of our cooked meals from now on. The George Foreman grill and our blender may break from overuse in the near future.

3. Get more active. My guy is really active and on his feet all day. I am the opposite on both counts. He participates in cycling tournaments and thinks riding 80 miles once a week is having a good time. He would love nothing more than if I joined him on a bicycle ride, but I’m a coward and only envision getting hit by a taxi, horse carriage, another cyclist, MTA bus, or a group of stampeding pedestrians. Did I mention there are about 70-80 steps in our walk-up? Imagine carrying groceries, laundry, furniture…ourselves…up and down that every day. My stomach remains soft, but these leg muscles are steel and my stamina is decent at least.

4. Eat more fresh vegetables and fruits, increase our water intake, and avoid purchasing foods containing excessive salt (including canned goods), sugar, white flour, and preservatives when possible.

Cooking food in a deep-set pan without oil is possible. Last night’s salmon and spinach dish was flavorful, juicy, fresh, and did not take much effort.

salmon and spinach

Would you like the recipe? Leave a comment and I may play nice and share.

Consistency

Consistency is wonderful in many arenas. Society expects people and collective groups to go about daily tasks in a predictable way. Here are a few examples:

1) In personality and action. A person may undergo a psychological evaluation if they are not consistent in behavior. This can occur if someone changes noticeably, acting erratic, possibly destructively from their “usual” selves or deviates from accepted and expected social norms in a given environment.

2) In the workplace. Employers like reliable employees, people who will stick to a schedule, contribute to a steady workplace arrangement, and not muss up too many hairdos.

3) In parenting. Most children learn from, subconsciously crave, and need consistency. Research on attachment styles and self-help books by the armful discuss this in great detail. I only have these to go by, because I am really relying on my therapeutic approach…I don’t know what it’s like to have a very wide awake toddler bouncing all over the house at 5 am. On a Saturday.

4) Personal banking (credit/debit/savings). I’m certified in Personal Finance Management and plan to write more about this topic as I continue to apply money-saving tactics to my life. Impulse spenders may find this particular task difficult or those with more expenses than available income can find themselves under the burden of debt and financial hardship. Yet, personal bank accounts thrive under an habitual flow of deposited funds versus withdrawals, within reason. This is why the first credit card statement after the winter holiday season is one many dread the most.

However, consistency does not work well all the time. You can certainly bowl over all the examples above with but what if scenarios until I close up shop and take a vow of silence in some remote mountainside monastery.

Consistency, while a positive trait, can lead to stagnation. In the blogging industry, regular posting is fantastic (and something I’m also working to improve on this site), but trending topics change and freelancers need to always work toward enhancement and jumping on new opportunities. One cannot move ahead and plan the next best thing if they are not willing to take risks, learn, and implement something off the well-worn path now and then.

“Consistency is key”, but don’t forget to leave room for growth.

Bullied, but not Victim

A kid gets known as
the class act for
falling
down
with perfection,
gets called clumsy
and classmates sear
that adjective on his soul
like an unforgivable sin.

He does not see
the others with
scarred knees like him.
Understand,
his kind are too
busy staring
at
the
ground,
hoping not to stumble,
too afraid to fail
to notice or worse,
be seen.

Time seems slow,
but passes as it
never forgets to do
and the boy grows
tall in character.
Repeated words
promise less pain
and he begins to
feel a shift in
the balance.

He stops paying
attention to the
sidewalk and stares
ahead for a change.
He’s stunned.

The same knuckleheads
try to crack the same jokes,
but loop around
their rotten smiles
and jovial rib jabs
in tight circles.
It’s dizzying and
he wants none of it,
none of them.
He owns his words,
even if they are
loose with theirs,
and walks on.

This boy reaches where
broken concrete ends
by muscle memory.
He does not look
as the grass softens
beneath each step -
he feels the difference,
a lessened rebound,
somehow lighter.

He does not turn back.

The Appraisal

This poem begins my contributions to NaBloPoMo in April 2012, along with the A-Z Challenge. A is for Appraisal.

Sometimes, I wonder what you think
when your eyes pass over me.

Am I boring you?
Is there a stain on my shirt,
some stubborn wrinkle?

Do I look, sound, or act too
ridiculous, or perhaps
too sure?

Impossible insecurities
leak out my brain,
run down my ears and
coat my throat to form

biting words,

but I choke them into

silence.

I will not trip up
or dress down
to sway your
opinion.

Appraise away!

I remain intact
because I know my worth,
with all strengths and faults,
biases and boundaries.

I know and love.

I know and love me.

Return from Sin City (Las Vegas, NV)

Sweet CrepeBellagio, Las VegasBellagio, Las VegasBellagio, Las VegasBellagio, Las VegasBellagio, Las Vegas
Bellagio, Las VegasBellagioBellagioBellagio FountainsBellagio FountainsPan con Tomate
Wonder of the SeaCirclesRocky MountainsRocky MountainsAerial Shot
Burbank, CALas Vegas BlvdThe LuxorNY, NY Casino & Hoteldalmation fish?

Sin City, a set on Flickr.

I recently traveled to Las Vegas, and it was an experience I will never forget.

Everything is extravagant and large there- each tourist attraction and hotel aims to outshine its neighbor. Loose morals, bright lights, and smoke-filled interiors are lined by transplanted palm trees, outdoor escalators, and velvet-rope taxi waiting stands. People do not cross the Las Vegas Strip, but use overpasses to avoid getting hit.

It is a hedonistic, manufactured oasis in the middle of the Nevadan desert, a decadent, almost surreal capitalistic empire with $1 jello shots and $8 bottles of Fiji water. I despised and loved it at the same time.

My lungs will recover in time if I never visit again. However, the aerial views were incredible to and from, and the dry, sunny 80‌°F weather reminded me that humans evolved in desert conditions and can easily adapt again when given the chance. I reveled in returning home, but my skin, partial to the cold before, somewhat misses the promised warmth I grew accustomed to last week.

Here are some photos from my trip. Enjoy, and thanks for sticking by me these past few silent days.

This post overlaps with this week’s BlogHop at The Writers’ Post. Topic: Adventure.